Home... or Adventure?

When I was a young adult waking to the adult world around me, I had a pretty pastel-colored card taped to my refrigerator. On it was a picture of a little girl standing before a fork in the road. There was a signpost pointed in two different directions - one arrow was labeled ‘Home’, and the other, ‘World’. I had a deep longing for home and comfort, and yet I also understood the pull of adventure.

All of us long for that feeling of home, a place where we are always welcomed, feel safe, loved and free to be exactly who we are. But that doesn’t mean we want to be home 24/7. Most of us as well are called out into the world by beckoning dreams and burgeoning desires, hopeful that our journeys will keep us well and our adventures will deepen our lives. But how many of us actually enhance our lives and equip our spirits with a healthy balance of both Home and World?

Our families are usually a driving force behind creating and maintaining a home stronghold. We need a place in which to rest and rejuvenate, commune and connect, and dance around the living room in our pajamas. We even have an instinctual urge to nest and create a safe haven from the chaos of the world at large. Some of us try to re-create our childhood experiences in the form of home, while others attempt to fashion an entirely new nesting habitat and familial rituals.

But too much home and not enough adventure can leave us stagnant, dull and set in our ways. And too much journeying forgoing a home-front can leave us ungrounded, scattered or anxious. We need a sense of home for psychological, physical and spiritual reasons. Yet while creating a home space might seem easy to some, to be truly satisfying it requires a significant level of awareness, an openness to other people, and a willingness to sustain that feeling of ‘home’.

Sometimes, on the other hand, we actually have to leave home in order to appreciate all that it means and gives to us. We need to occasionally journey away in order to get a grander sense of things and a fresh perspective on who we are and how we’re living. Coincidentally, setting out on a journey may seem daunting or we may find ourselves clinging to home at its very onset. Journeys do require a certain amount of courage, flexibility, determination and hope. Even those that seem effortless are deepening our character and our ability to affect our lives for the better.

Our careers might provide us with adventures in the form of travel, or our search for meaning may lead us unto journeys of self discovery. But any journey, really, should lead to some sort of self-awareness or bigger-picture understanding. Then, we can head on home, equipped with an expanded perspective, a deeper wisdom - and most likely - a fresh, sincere appreciation of home.

Creating a Spirited Life ~

How do you connect with Spirit? Some people feel most spiritually or universally connected in church; others in nature. For some it may be through music, uplifting words, or in silence; being alone, hearing the rustling of leaves in trees, or feeling a gentle breeze across your face. Maybe it’s watching children at play, the sound of laughter or immersing in prayer; helping someone in need or being helped yourself; a smile, hymn, memory or feeling…

When I wonder where or how to find spirit I am usually quickly reminded that it is everywhere. Yet we can lose touch with our awareness of it in our fast-paced, pressure-driven, over-stimulated lives. The alarm goes off, the coffee goes on, the kids get up, the shower trickles down, the lunches get made, the breakfast gets eaten, the dishes get done, and our days get going on a collision course for what? More of the same?

Whether you go to church on Sundays or pray daily to the traffic gods, every moment can be rich with spirit if you stop to listen and give it a moment of your time. Whether you need inspiration or guidance, connection or calm, it’s right there from one breath to another – in the sound of a friend’s voice, the buzzing of a bee, the softness of a blanket, the nourishment of good food. Just breathe, open your soul, release the tension, and take in another now-renewed breath. This is your chance to feel connected, cleansed and inspired to do something that really matters to you, like making this moment count.

A Joy-Filled Life with Unresolved Problems ~

A lot of people these days complain about things never being perfect and life being so darn hard. It almost becomes their mantra and they then remain stuck within a negative spiral. We all know life can be challenging and unbelievably frustrating at times. But if we come to believe and expect this is mostly all there is, we’ll continue to find a lot more of the same. If on the other hand we were to accept and embrace the nature of life - with its ups and downs, chaos and uncertainties, action and re-actions – we actually wouldn’t have to be so surprised or upset when “life” just does what life tends to do.

There are moments and situations in each of our lives that may feel perfect, but life will never be perfect all the time. We all know this, and yet we still butt up against life’s imperfect nature and continue to use it as a reason or excuse to not be happy. Thus, we’ll never find the joy that’s always there waiting to be harnessed; ‘there’ being wherever you want to find it.

“A joy filled life with unresolved problems” is how Stephen likes to put it, and we can all have one, starting right now. Since the obstacles and antagonists won’t ever dissolve for good, finding the joy in spite of the imperfections of life should be our unrelenting goal. Find a reason to be happy now - find yourself feeling wiser, calmer and more empowered too!

But people are creatures of habits that don’t suit them. They get so tired, so resentful of having to do the same things over and over again; not realizing they’re fighting the nature of being and exhausting themselves with the wasted effort. “Life is always going to be unresolved to an extent,” Stephen says, “because we have to keep eating, breathing and doing human activities to survive… And there are always consequences to that.” The joy however - which is buried beneath - is found in acceptance rather than stubbornness; and thus not trying to resolve things that cannot be picture-perfectly wrapped.

In each of our lives there are going to be conflicts that never seem to go away - like dysfunctional family stuff, tragedies that change us, intractable oppositions, and impossible situations. “There are always things that just go incredibly wrong and are conventionally unsolvable.” You just can’t make everybody happy, nor can you rectify everything. We fear and fight the existence of difficulties, but have to deal with them as long as we’re here. There’s always going to be something undone, askew or uncomfortable.

So what are we going to do in the meantime? Are we going to let it ruin yet another moment, yet another day, yet another year? The ‘I’ll finally be happy when I get this out of the way’ kind of mentality doesn’t work very well because there’s always something to fret about next. And then here we go again letting another hassle get in the way of our happiness.

Yes, life is a learning process, and learning can be challenging at times, but it’s not an unbearable lesson or test that we’re failing in the meantime. It can just feel that way because similar things keep popping up, making us feel as if we’re spinning our wheels or obstructing the view of that beautiful horizon we so love to dream about.

Do you find yourself needing absolutes in life – like flawless truth or impervious rationale – and then feeling continually frustrated or let down? Would you really prefer to be free and happy instead, creating your own life in the here and now? Just take a step back and see the multi-faceted life that touches and moves us all. Decide to deal with what can be dealt with and commit to returning to happiness as many times a day as possible. All that fretting, worrying and complaining can really choke the life force out of you, and isn’t usually based on much we can control anyway.

So when something goes wrong, instead of operating from a stuck place ~ create a new thought, a new solution or a new opportunity. Resilience plus creativity breed adventurism and character. Forging a new way, a different reaction or a more practical perspective means we’re no longer trapped by our minds’ neurosis. Learn to trust your intelligence, respect what makes you happy and keep chugging along. Become a master at harmonizing with the screwed up nature of things. You know Yoda would be proud.

What is 'Spirit'? ~

When I think of ‘Spirit’, I think of an effervescent energy that emanates from all living things. It hovers within and around the physical form while extending infinitely beyond it, and is in fact not dependent on it. It can appear that some people have Great Spirit, presence or lust for life, and they may in fact be more in touch with the energies they possess and their own positive manifestations. Thus the more they pay attention to the beauty and potential goodness of the world, the more their spirit is fed.

When I think of spirit I think of many things, including the contagious energies of determination, enthusiasm and resilience, people who’ve passed away and their higher selves that seem to remain, and just about anything that is growing or evolving. As an animal lover, for instance, I’ve watched my pets come to life over the years, to the extent that they seem to become nearly as human as the rest of us. I assume it is their evolution or awakening of spirit. The more I pay attention to them in a kind, caring way, the more they connect with me and others, and the more they come to life in subtle but significant ways. I think it’s the same from person to person. The spirit is always there, but we often have to dig to uncover and fully discover it.

Stephen defines spirit as “The sense of panoramic awareness and spaciousness.” Panoramic awareness is a knowing that is energetic; it has its own life to it. Spaciousness is openness, formlessness, a sense of unobstructed space and the ability to move through it. Being intangible, however, both awareness and spaciousness can be hard to pin down, making it easy for us to go to the” shadow side”, in which we may act as a perfectionist, doubter, seeker or wanderer.

Seekers and wanderers are always looking for things outside of themselves, and yet they have a lot of doubt about themselves and the journey. Since they also have perfectionist tendencies, nothing is ever good enough, causing self-confidence issues and endless searching. (See the cycle?). Always having two poles or opposites, shadows can pull at each other and leave us feeling trapped within.

The healthy balance of Spirit, on the other hand, comes from embodying the forms of guide and student rather than doubter and seeker. We can do this by being open to the lessons at hand, accepting and utilizing wisdom that shows itself, and knowing that life is not a monkey wrench-free ride. Since none of us is completely lacking of the shadow sides, we must be willing to be a student and we need a good guide when it comes to residing in the “spirit world” (which is not as bewitching or otherworldly as we think; we often do this without necessarily realizing it). While the space has no form or color and can be hard to see, moving through it is not as predictable or linear as we expect. Like walking through a mansion’s rooms without seeing the blueprint of the whole structure, the exploration can be scary without the awareness of the larger picture and some guidance along the way.

So how do we go about getting this? Considering what the big picture really is and what it means to us; Being open to spiritual or spirit-driven teachers or mentors who help us make sense of things; Making our mental and emotional well-being as important as anything else in our lives; And encouraging others to do the same. Because by including spirit in our healing – integrating with a higher spirit and allowing our spirits to heal – we are engaging the full healing model and all aspects of ourselves.

“When you get the warm, familiar feeling of being home,” Stephen says, “you’ll know you’re not wandering and doubting anymore.” Being in spirit is being in the center of the labyrinth of life: You are operating from a more stable place, you have a healthier perspective and outlook, and you as well become the guide.

Little Blisses ~

Why did Julie Andrews sing about her favorite things in ‘The Sound of Music’? Because she and the Colonel’s children were all distracted from sleep and frightened by a storm. It was probably a metaphor for the political storm building in a much more significant way around them. But we’ve all got “storms” of some sort brewing in our lives or proximity. We can deal with them if that’s an option, but often we have to ‘weather’ the storm: Be heartier and more long-lasting than it. When this is the case, we need pleasant distractions - Or better yet, a genuine desire to note what is uplifting. And when considering this, we shouldn’t judge the quality of the elevating entity by its size, because we’d just be selling ourselves short.

I like to call them ‘little blisses’, and I made a list of some of my favorite things today. Because noting all the sweet and bold things from which we glean pleasure on a daily basis, the significance of our actual burdens lessens somewhat and our trivial worries become that much easier to spot and swat away. Remembering the everyday things makes us stop and appreciate them, and appreciation evokes a state of grace, like a kind of everyday sacredness.

Sure, some days aren’t so productive and some don’t end so rosy, no matter how hard we try. I, for one, did not awake feeling like Julie Andrews bathed in bliss on a mountain top. But I did what needed to be done just to maintain the status quo of my life. It wasn’t until my day was nearly done that I began counting my blessings, inspired by curtains blowing in the wind.

When inspiration and meaning seem out of reach, do whatever it takes to remind yourself of the preciousness in the world and look to all the places where the sacred may reside. Light a candle (number five on my favorite list) and say a prayer or affirmation. Order take-out and give the cook a rest. Take your kids to a park and soak up the nature sounds. Or write down your woes, honor them, and then let them go for the night.

Because when we start looking at what makes us happy – instead of what doesn’t – we invoke little bits of joy. And before you know it, when you look around at what’s truly there, there are a thousand things to love in one instant. And this graceful, appreciative way of looking at our lives brings us back down to an earth that is nurturing, supportive and always providing something for which to thank our lucky stars.