Stephen's Web

When I first met Stephen, he was a therapist at the Sacramento Complementary Health Center, and was gracious enough to give me a phone interview for an article to be published in the Midtown Monthly. It was my first paying writing gig, although I had already self published my first book, Portals to the Soul, the Psyche & a More Enchanted Life. That was about 10 years ago.

Now we work together in various professional and creative capacities at Middle Way Health, a wellbeing center Stephen founded in 2000 that currently has 14 practitioners under its roof. None of this was really by accident, however, and a lot has transpired between then and now (March 2015).

When Stephen approached me not long after the article was published about helping him write a book of his own, he was transitioning into monkhood. By the time we had our first face-to-face encounter he was wearing red Tibetan robes and told me his Buddhist name was Lama Yeshe Jinpa (Lama Jinpa or Lama la for short). It seemed a drastic change in a short amount of time from my perspective, but I liked his vibe and went with the flow.

And that’s how it began – going with the flow.

We met at Stephen’s then-office in an 18th & I street Tudor in Downtown Sacramento once a week. The book was to be nonfiction, based on Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey and Buddhism’s Five Precepts of Liberation. He had a lot to teach me about both, and I felt grateful to have such a willing teacher. While at times the information was dizzying, there was also a very calm, comforting energy about the space. So calm, in fact, that while my mind was often in overdrive, there were plenty of times I could have simply slipped into slumber. It was just one of the several conundrums to come.

Once we had the backbone of the book completed, Stephen’s vision enlarged. He thought a fiction component would complement the nonfiction aspect; His plan being to create a workshop series based on the book(s). So writing a novel together we set out to do, seemingly pulling it all from thin air…

And of course life and work and what-have-you intervened. For instance, one day Stephen appeared at our weekly meeting in civilian clothes. He said that this was a long time coming, as his practice had been struggling from too many clients being unfamiliar and uncomfortable with his traditional Tibetan Buddhist apparel. So although he was hanging up his robes, he was still to be a Lama - a teacher of Tibetan Buddhism, as well as a LMFT – therapist to the community.

Saving his career and settling back into a traditional lifestyle with new wife Sabrina, Stephen soon needed an updated website, a brochure for this and that, an article here and there… and I was capable and willing. But as life ramps up, so must we. And with new pressures and old ones growing, personality tendencies tend to emerge.

I learned that Stephen’s typical laissez-faire air is sometimes countered by an assertive, almost anxious impatience, usually sprinkled with a pinch of positivity. Feeling trapped within this dichotomy at times, I practiced holding my own inner anxiety in check.

Then came the decision to invite His Holiness the Dalai Lama to Sacramento via Lama la’s Buddhist organization Lion’s Roar. We worked on the vision and wrote the invitation together, soon attending meetings with various movers and shakers interested in funding or directing the project. People came out of the woodwork to be involved – I myself was honored to have a role. And yet before we knew it (although we could sense it coming), politics engulfed the plan in flames.

Still harboring hope for a future visit, we buried ourselves in another expansion project. Stephen moved to a larger office – a Victorian on 19th Street, where his assistant Judy Lynn Taylor could have more space to do her Shamanic Healing practice, his wife Sabrina Schultz could begin nutrition consulting, and I could start a Writing Coaching practice. There was enough space where people could actually come together – Stephen’s family, his dharma students, fellow professionals and clients – and it began to feel more like a community.

Meanwhile, I got married and went freelance full time. Meanwhile still, we continued chipping away at the book together, watching this crazy adventure and blossoming characters come to life before our eyes. We poured our own experiences into the scenes, the back story, the heroism, and the vulnerability, which required a significant level of openness and trust. I felt respected by, as well as a kinship with Stephen that resembled my relationship with my own father.

The workshop vision deepened as we juggled a connection between it and the novel. While it was difficult for me to imagine how Stephen was going to implement this massively unique endeavor, it wasn’t the first time I had to go on faith alone… So I practiced patience gathering, deep breathing, and clarification-attempting communications that sometimes made me feel we were coming from two different dimensions.

One more move, more expansion, and even more space acquired, Middle Way Health then blossomed into actual office space across from Sacramento’s historic McKinley Park, which borders Downtown and East Sacramento. Now with more physical space as well, the vastness of Stephen’s projects became more transparent and it was clear that he had zero plans to slow down any time soon. Which meant, more plates for the rest of us to spin. But also, more opportunities to grow and connect.

There was now designated space in which clients, colleagues, friends and family could mingle; adding more of a personal and communal connection to the mix. Weekly Tai Chi classes began with Inner Circle founder Robert Nakashima. A blog was started, and blog book one ultimately published. Interns were brought on, we started an online magazine (La Dolce Vita), and began holding Open Houses. The workshops began, Middle Way Health Foundation was launched, and more health practitioners (with more varied healing modalities) joined the team. An Art Gallery was established, Open Clinic was launched, and formal waiting room unveiled.

Last but not least for now (still March 2015), Stephen’s, or Lama Jinpa’s Buddhist organization Lion’s Roar recently acquired a charming church around the corner on B Street. It has been the grandest maneuver yet, and may well be the most connective – being not only a place for Lion’s Roar and its students to grow… but for many of Stephen’s endeavors to occasionally come together in one place.

So not unsurprisingly, his time has become stretched thin, leaving the rest of us to struggle with the consequences of all this change.

All of this has left little time to finish the book – Oh, yes, the book - although we have continued to chip away at it here and there and are achingly close to completion. Only thing is, it’s time to publish another issue of La Dolce Vita, we’ve just created a healthcare provider directory that needs to be put on the website, the new Dream Life Room needs more decorating TLC, we may be extending another invite to the Dalai Lama in the near future, and, well… Oh, wait - Did I say, “only” thing is…?

Communal Healing

[Good health comes from regularly balancing aspects of our lives such as our emotions, thoughts and habits.]

Healing should be a way of life – if we really want to do it right - to grow, evolve and flourish. Because there are always going to be new stressors, ills or hurts popping up here and there, and we need ways in which to handle them throughout our lives.

This is something we have learned at Middle Way Heath - that true health and wellness is not a one-time fix. Good health comes from regularly balancing aspects of our lives such as our emotions, thoughts and habits. It’s a process that requires our participation – at least periodically – in checking to see how we’re handling it all and if we could use some assistance or guidance.

Each of us does this throughout our lives in similar ways. We way talk with a friend, family member, church leader, colleague, or professional to help us see things more clearly, assess priorities, and perhaps strategize a game plan. If we keep our struggles and fears to ourselves, however, we become trapped within our own unresolved problems, our life becomes stagnant – or riddled with strife - and there seems no way out.

Healing in and of itself is very simple, really. All it requires is that we step in the direction of our wellbeing a little each day. Often the first step is simply talking with someone about our concerns and wishes. Opening ourselves up to outside help is what unlocks the door because we cannot thrive as closed systems, always keeping to ourselves and denying our ongoing issues. We are communal, social beings who need each other to exist optimally. We should be helping each other accept our vulnerabilities and build upon our strengths, which we can then invest back into the community in order to assist the greater good.

It’s time to come out of our shells, uncover our authenticity, and share it with those around us. We are role models for one another in the most simplistic of ways sometimes. Being true to yourself, fostering forgiveness, finding the gems in our weakness… these are gifts we should be honing and sharing with the world.

In person, preferably.

Middle Way Health Welcomes New Therapy Intern, Jesus Sanchez

Having been cooped up in the house much of the day, the cool, breezy evening air feels refreshing on my skin. It is not long, however, before I notice some dark clouds inching closer and the wind whipping harder around the curve of the building. A hope arises in me that it contains itself long enough for Jesus and I to get acquainted.

I ask him to share whatever he’d like to about himself, which he does with poise, as if he’s told his life story a hundred times. He seems comfortable in his own skin and comfortable in his environment, which at the moment happens to be a metal patio set on a concrete slab at Starbucks. Self-assured, well spoken and forthcoming are descriptions that come to mind as Jesus begins telling me about himself and his journey up to this point in his life.

Jesus Sanchez grew up in the tough barrio of East Salinas, but was immersed in methods of traditional medicine, inner-tribal revitalization movements, tribal cultures, and Aztec Dance - by both his family and community. This really enriched his life at the time and later contributed to how he lives it as an adult. And he now brings these things to his practice. Not just as a therapist but a Spiritual Practitioner, with an emphasis on the word “practice”, he says. “We have to make it part of our daily lives. What speaks to your mind/body/spirit and brings you vitality? This is your medicine. We need to commit to it and practice it.”

Tell more about your background, I ask.

“I graduated in May 2013 from Sac State for MFCC, although my first Master’s degree was in History. There I became disappointed that LGBT/queer youth were largely ignored, so I started conducting research regarding the disparities they were facing. My research revealed that the number one disparity was mental health. I heard over and over again, ‘There’s so much trauma; we need somebody to talk to.’ Having a shared experienced with the community, I decided to focus my efforts toward becoming part of the healing process, which led me to the field. I feel really blessed to be at Middle Way Health.”

How about your work experience?

“My first internship was doing clinical work at The Lighthouse Family Resource and Counseling Center. I was then at Yolo Family Resource Center in Woodland as a counselor. I have worked with young children all the way up to retirees, and like to focus on coming up with strategies not just for healing, but ongoing health.”

Yes, that is what Middle Way Health is all about. Self Care.

“We have to contribute to all essence of life - build our relationships, share our strengths… regardless of our trauma. We need to reconnect to being healthy. Health is social too! Have you abandoned culture and art? Abandoned mindfulness of what you’re taking into your body?”

“I think here’s been a return to psyche, which is connected to spirit. And I have a spiritual background blended with traditional psychotherapy training. I think there’s finesse in how these two meet. Mindfulness has a spiritual aspect, acting like a medium that helps us to cross boundaries.”

“How do you live your life in ceremony, with intent, thinking of it as ritual? For instance, altar-making: A sanctuary with elements that remind you of things that ground you, your definition of a higher power, and what it does for you. I think we’re all looking for that medicine, and people connect to these types of traditions, even if they may come from very different backgrounds. We have a connection to the sacred elements that call to us, reminding us of our intent, our faith, and hope.”

You’re also a community organizer and activist?

“I have been an activist since I was a teenager. However, recently my efforts have concentrated on creating strategies for change with disenfranchised youth communities, from LGBT youth to those who have been recently incarcerated.”

“I’m very transparent; these are my practices and these are the tools I can give you, the ways I can help you. How can we build on it based on your needs?”
~

To contact Jesus, email him at Jesus@MiddleWayHealth.com or call Middle Way Health at 916.492.9007

{We've also recently brought on board two more interns - Colleen Wong and Junko Quest. You can read more about them in our upcoming July issue of La Dolce Vita Online Magazine}

Creative Community, Helping Hands, Blissful Beings

We just had our second successful ‘La Dolce Vita’ event at Middle Way Health’s Midtown Sacramento location and we’d like to thank those who joined us for an evening of ‘The Sweet Life’!

For people and connections to feel real, we have to actually get together with them - to feel and share energy, chemistry and emotion. It’s the physical presence and awareness (embodiment) that makes a connection, thought or idea real. The intent of our ‘La Dolce Vita’ gatherings is to bring creative people together to sample and discuss what makes up The Sweet Life, to come up with ideas and create a community of like-minded people who want to be happy and make the world a better place.

We all want to live some version of The Sweet Life, and we need others with whom to share the rewards of our efforts. Coming together around a vision causes it to grow and spread, and community is then built up around it. But we’re not just talking about superfluous things; happy people make the best helpers. It may sound corny, but it’s true.

We all want to be happy, healthy and helpful, right? Often, however, we don’t know exactly how we can help others. Our ‘La Dolce Vita’ gatherings have brought together a variety of people and professions - many of whom don’t normally come together in the same place. For instance, we’re connecting artists, writers and musicians who haven’t previously networked with mental health professionals, politicians and community activists, who in return don’t generally mingle with healers, food industry or fashion professionals.

Bringing different aspects of our community together in this way we are building bridges, sharing passions, generating ideas and solving problems. And our events serve as a method to spread various sources of information. For instance, Melanie Noel Light prepared a visual presentation of Dream Life Designing at our last gathering, something we’d like to continue, with a different presenter from the community each time. This is how we grow ourselves and our businesses, and this is how we make a more significant difference.

We all experience stressors in life - often all too often - and we at Middle Way Health believe in alleviating them by dealing with our responsibilities and creating room for the good stuff; the stuff that makes life worth living. This requires a balance between rewarding ourselves (while not leaning toward hedonism) and practicing blissful wisdom (accepting and sharing what we’ve learned).

At Middle Way Health we offer a variety of services to bring about joyful balance in one’s life. But it’s not solely about doing things one-on-on; we also aim to spread the vision of ‘La Dolce Vita’ (a healthy, joyful, balanced life) through workshops, classes and community events.

We believe we can all be healthy and happy at the same time. While maintaining health takes work, it shouldn’t detract from the happiness we want to experience. A happy, healthy person living a balanced life is to us a success - and can make a difference, even if just by example. A group or community of happy, healthy people living in balance and working together, however, can really turn the tides for the better!

AGING: Healthy Role Models and Mindsets

My husband is only 43 and yet he worries about aging to the extent that it sometimes wakes him in the middle of the night. He worries about losing loved ones, his health failing, and to a lesser but still painful extent, his looks fading. He’s not overly vain; he’s just like the rest of us – honest and searching.

I can relate with much of what he’s experiencing. When you turn that corner from the future being always a distance away to seeing and feeling yourself aging, it is disconcerting. Suddenly, here’s this fact of life (aging) that you never really literally imagined happening to you (getting old), and it’s now happening - to you.

In our youth and beauty-obsessed culture, it’s no wonder that we’re uneasy about our years showing. There are, however, more significant, affecting ways in which we age, including our health failing, mental health suffering, and thoughts tending toward mortality. We develop GI tract issues, stiffening joints, unreliable memories, etc.… and they’re not just superfluous complaints. They’re typical things people who are aging talk about and have a strong desire to mitigate. That’s the medical/psychological side of it all. But what if we look at it from another perspective, with a different outlook and attitude?

When I bring up the topic with Stephen, the first thing that comes to his mind is his grandmother. He says he once asked her how old she felt when she was in her late 80s. She responded that she still felt 17 - and she lived to be 102. “I feel younger in some ways than I have before,” Stephen says at age 60. “I’d say I was more preoccupied with getting older when I was younger.”

Feeling like he’s turned a corner, he seems to have made a certain peace with aging. “Something in us is getting younger… it feels a bit like Merlin. He would get younger as he aged. In other words, the more I age, the more I’m coming closer to my next rebirth.” I realize this is a spiritual perspective, and I wonder if those of us worried about aging just need something to believe in. It’s certainly so much nicer than feeling like a victim of time and gravity with endless physical and cognitive worries.

But how about younger generations; what are they learning with so many role models trying so desperately not to age? I hope enough of us can find a balance between taking care of ourselves and respecting the parts of us that undeniably get older. As for me, I do try to be gentle with my imperfect self and not to worry about inevitable things.

It’s a science, if we think about aging in terms of eating right, staying active, engaging the mind, and challenging old beliefs and stale attitudes. It’s an empowering lifestyle if we focus on how better we can live right now, how well we can wear our years. Yet maybe it’s a religion too – If we find something so great to believe in that we fear no future phantoms and instead lap up the present as if it were the best fountain of youth there is.

Succumbing to Sickness – Necessary or Not? ~

What’s your take on getting sick? Is it mind over matter or is it only a matter of biology? Can you not “afford” to get sick or are you a bear to deal with when sick? Do you think we “catch” bugs or succumb to only some of them? Does your mental or emotional state have anything to do with whether you get sick or not? For instance, is chronic stress or running yourself ragged a catalyst? Or were you just at the wrong place at the wrong time?

We all have different theories about getting sick. Lama Jinpa believes that getting a little bit sick can build up antibodies. When he fights getting sick, that’s when he tends to get sick, he says. Can you relax into the sickness rather than pushing through it? Can you see it as an opportunity to slow down? Lama Jinpa believes this might actually aid in our recovery.

It’s natural to get sick once in a while, right? Very few of us are lucky enough to be able to say we never get sick (and is this even human?). But if we periodically get sick on the littler levels – like colds and flus – then maybe we won’t succumb to bigger illnesses, Lama la theorizes. It’s like a practice run for our immune systems; stretching them out, working them into a healthy sweat, and making them stronger in the long run.

The holistic view sees us as being healthier because of having been sick. You know that feeling – when you’re finally well again – just how good feeling normal can be, and the clarity that goes along with it? We usually only appreciate our general wellness after recovery from physical ailments, psychological angst or life turbulence. So on the mental level too, maybe getting sick serves a purpose.

Sometimes, people won’t give themselves the rest they need unless and until they become bed-ridden. But can a hearty attitude and healthy outlook actually prevent the need for such human weakness as the flu? Because if there were a way to ensure I would never, ever be sick again, I’d personally be interested in hearing about it. I just wonder if there might be any unforeseen consequences or side effects… and I’m not so sure I’m willing to be the guinea pig on this one.