The Garden Diaries (Introduction)

While I’ve always loved nature, I wasn’t all that interested in gardening until my 40s when the concept of helping things grow suddenly seemed a miraculous endeavor. In addition, having daily access at my fingertips to fresh organic food is a component of living a feel-good life for me personally. Sometimes I even feel a hint of fairytale energy with the delicate little white butterflies flitting about, bees buzzing overhead, and squirrels bouncing from tree to tree. Nowadays, if I’m not literally in the garden, I peek out my window to bask in the visual glory of the greenery getting bigger by the day.

For many of us, nature is a spiritual entity, if not a spiritual practice. We might walk and ponder, sit and meditate, or lie back and stargaze. Some of us even tend to the land with hands of magical intent. My friend Farmer Ric, for instance - once a Sacramentan - now runs an organic farm in New Mexico providing clean, nutritious food to locals. This, I consider a high calling nowadays.

Yet not all of us have to take it so far. We are allowed to simply enjoy any semblance of nature we can find, even if we don’t have an intentional practice built around it. But recognizing the symbolism of nature – serenity, abundance, power, cycles – we can also all benefit from the lessons inherent within. And when it comes to Sacred Outdoor Space, a garden is a prime example.

Gardens are symbolic of our own peacefulness and creativity; serenity and peace are themselves Dharma concepts. Can you vividly imagine an inviting outdoor community space in which we can come together?! Can you feel the gentle breeze, hear the crickets, sense the healing powers of nature filling you up?
~

[Image: Camellia Tree Through Window at Lion's Roar Dharma Center by Melanie Noel Light]

The Man, the Myth, the Legend... The Role Model

His name was Bob. He was a devoted husband, supportive father, successful businessman, and steadfast friend. But in the end, no matter the role he played in each of our lives, he was one thing to all of us: An inspiration.

I hadn’t seen Bob in about 6 years, but he always felt like family. So when I took a trip to Palm Desert this past December for his memorial service, I wasn’t prepared for the impact it would have on me.

When I heard of my friend’s father’s passing, I immediately tried to get in contact with her. Because it was her dad, and I knew how it felt to lose one at a relatively young age. Because I knew how close the family was. And because it was Bob – this warm, jovial, fun-loving father-figure who had always made me feel welcomed and loved. And because I suddenly realized how fortunate my longtime friend was to have had this man at the center of her life.

Now sitting amongst the crowd in the funeral home, I really began to feel the weight of the loss. There was a wife, three grown children and a gaggle of grandkids; a mother, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, and countless friends – who like me - were always made to feel like family. I just hadn’t realized until that moment what a gift that truly was.

As we waited for the service to begin and streams of family and friends drifted in, I turned to my mom and asked her if Bob had had any faults. It seemed a silly question, and yet it was an honest one. I mean, of course Bob was human just like the rest of us. But maybe he was even more human than the rest of us, in a way that somehow elevated him to a higher spiritual plane… Mom replied that she didn’t know any of Bob’s faults offhand, and was in agreement that he had surely done something right in this lifetime.

Bob did have a strong faith, as did the entire family, but it was a quiet thread that gave them strength when they needed it and held them firmly together all those years – something I’d never quite mastered. I really can’t pretend to know the formula Bob used to design his life, except that it seemed a simple, poignant one: Work hard, play well, love even better.

The bonds between the family members (that were also always extended to family friends) were forged upon something invisible but powerful, something not all of us hold so dear or are perhaps just not gifted with in such a significant, obvious way. And I couldn’t help but feel I have been missing something profound all my life, something Bob utilized like a master.

Did he know the most important lesson of all? Was he just purer of heart? Unfettered by mental clutter? Unwavering in a certain faith in life? Did he know something that most of us do not?

It wasn’t just me who was somewhat baffled by Bob’s being-ness. Even some of Bob’s older friends recognized the elevation of Bob’s existence as someone who, even after death, is an inspiration to… well, be a little more like Bob.

Loving. Fun. Embracing. Laughing. And somehow knowing that what matters most is how we make others feel.

Somewhere within the beauty of eternity there is a new guardian rooting for all mankind. I call him Saint Bob.

Say What? Rumors, Hearsay and Gossip, Oh My!

“Is the Dalai Lama coming to Sacramento?” When people hear something like this they often just run with it, turning it into a statement rather than a question. “The Dalai Lama is coming to town!” The big things in life are especially prone to this.

The truth is that Zanazabar Dharma Center is inviting the Dalai Lama to Sacramento. Lion’s Roar is involved but is not driving it because we believe it’s best the invite comes from the only Mongolian Temple in the west. Geshela and Baasan are heading up the invitation with assistance from Jhado Rinpoche. But it’s not a sure thing; an invite doesn’t mean an acceptance.

So let’s talk more about rumors. Anytime something significant happens or there is a change in the status quo, rumors arise. We tend to not be comfortable with the unknown so our tendency is to fill in the blanks of our lives - often with hearsay - and spread the “inside information” around.

But what exactly is a rumor?

A rumor is ‘something spoken or unspoken that is going around, but not yet officially released, substantiated or verified.’ A rumor can be false, partially true, invented, or entirely true. It is ‘quickly spreading’ and ‘has no discernible source or authority for truth.’

Rumors often come from hearing just part of a conversation, and then running with it, possibly even embellishing it. What generally happens is that we take the information - even mis-heard or misunderstood information - as fact. It’s just so tempting to latch onto some part of the rumor and consider it true.

For instance, there have long been assumptions (thus, rumors) about Buddhists that we’re all vegetarians and always chill, mellow or zen-like. There are also ongoing beliefs that somewhere else will provide “the perfect Dharma practice”. Some students and teachers even play on these generalizations.

“There were a lot of rumors going around when I was a monk,” Lama Jinpa says, “due to perceived projections of what a monk is supposed to be like.” While people don’t always realize they are creating or spreading rumors, sometimes someone is knowingly making it personal; their goal being to take you down a notch. In these instances of false accusation, if you admit to it the accuser feels somewhat satisfied - as if they’ve been vindicated. If you won’t cop to it, however, this “validates” the rumor even more in their eyes. This is a trap out of which there seems no escape… Unless you don’t take the bait in the first place.

While the most typical rumors circulate round feelings, reality, sex, money, politics, or anything potentially “scandalous”, there can actually be an upside to all this gossip. For instance, when the rumor going around is actually a positive one. Or, sometimes even a negative rumor can work in your favor, as it gives you an opportunity to tell your story or strengthen a truth. While a rumor may be painful, regardless, it can still be a catalyst to a positive outcome, tipping something forward toward something better. An example of this is how rumors actually helped us obtain the Temple, by deterring another potential buyer.

When it comes to an antagonistic rumor, nonetheless, there’s no denying that it can be incredibly painful at the time. And other people can make decisions based on the hearsay and rumors, thus adding insult to injury. We are usually only able to see the absurdity of or humor to the rumor long down the road.

Another curious thing about rumors is that we often get accused of things that aren’t true, while we are rarely accused of our actual faults. For example, there are old recycled rumors about Lama Jinpa accusing him of a variety of colorful things - from stealing money and having sex with students to driving people away, drinking or drugging; from always being super nice or an asshole or unpredictable to never really having been a monk, or still secretly being one… We have a tendency to believe there’s some deep dark secret this person is keeping - suspicions that there’s a grandiose reason for people to do what they do - and basing crazy assumptions on it.

In a religious setting there’s so much trust, openness and receptivity that most of the time people don’t check things out. So when something goes wrong – or is even just perceived as wrong - it feels like a really bad betrayal, causing people to remain in a cynical place. Even a squeaky clean person or establishment is then going to have a difficult time regaining that trust.

People’s perceptions are usually based on evaluations and stories. And since most of us aren’t insiders or outsiders - instead just in that middle ground “Well, we’ll see” space - this tends to breed more hypothesizing and rumor spreading. So why are we predisposed to believe something terrible, especially with no proof? Because it’s juicier; the practical reasons and explanations are just too boring; we’ve heard of similar instances elsewhere and assume this situation is the same; to protect ourselves or make us feel better; because it’s just more fun, etc.

In religious settings a rumor is often taken as truth because we are predisposed to think that “the truth” is an organic part of that process. In mainstream life, whereas, rumored information is more likely to be put under the ‘burden of proof’ microscope. So to what extent are we supposed to track down their origins? Some rumors don’t get questioned because they’re so bold or off the wall. Investigating them takes energy and requires residing in the unknown. It’s all too easy to just remain in ignorance and denial.

Rumors can be telling, though, exposing our personal insecurities, instabilities, jealousies, paranoias, power issues, etc. In fact, we’re making stuff up in our heads and telling ourselves rumors all the time. But there is a positive aspect to this kind of delusion: We get off balance and then have to wake up in order to regain balance. It’s not that rumors are necessary for this, but they can work in this way. If we never made anything up, nothing creative would happen.

Rumors are so multi-faceted that they can be playful or well meaning - and yet even these can backfire on the subject or spreader - leaving a lingering doubt, a lasting impression, or question of integrity. A long-standing rumor can lead to expectation of that behavior, or a rumor can re-emerge at a later date, supposedly “confirming” a past one. Rumors can be motivating for us or they can hold us back from our potential. Some end up working out in our favor… while others can feel like the ultimate betrayal.

Obviously we can’t rid of all rumors and stop all hearsay from spreading entirely. Like light passing through space and naturally getting curved by gravity, it’s difficult to obtain, contain or pass on accurate information. It gets embellished or twisted along the way. We can however be mindful of the role we play in creating, encouraging or believing things we think or hear without enough evidence backing it. This will help bring more integrity to our actions, relationships, and lives in general.

An Artful Life

Art isn’t always frame-able or something that can be attached to a wall. We create art by how we live out our days. The whole environment around us is artistic – presented to us and appreciated by us. It’s always speaking to us and we in turn respond.

The significance of ART to our spirits and contributions to our societies can hardly be fully defined or grasped. Art is both an instrument and reward, both cause and effect. But art is also a symbol of things unseen by the naked eye and a metaphor for how we perceive things. Art initiates conversation, opens minds, moves spirits, and yet leaves an air of mystery that lingers. In this regard, art isn’t just ‘art’ but something that stirs the soul and awakens the psyche.

Also exemplifies the importance of our visual world, which is perhaps the biggest mural of all – with details, expressions and stories that are constantly in flux; a performance art of how we live and appreciate our lives. The whole environment is an artistic expression in a way.

We may pay more attention to art we’re consciously creating, but how we exist from day to day is also an art form – not only in the doing, but in what is then created around us. This kind of art isn’t something we make alone; it’s not a private affair but something we co-create with our environment. We’re in a public work of art. When we consciously create it, we get a better sense of who we are.

Observing this world, our lives and our place in both, we are showing that we are cognizant of what’s blooming, morphing and withering before us. This awareness in an art form in itself that again proves art is everywhere and in everything. And we can harness this process of appreciation and creation in all aspects of life. But there is a simple elegance in the initial observation of what’s around us.

When we are aware of even the mundane-seeming things we become more centered, calm and awake. By seeing how everything exists in and of itself and then takes its place – such as animals or rocks or clouds, for instance – we are relating to things visually and getting a sense of space from them. We are ingesting the whole picture – how it is arranged and how it feels to us – rather than simply one artful or questionable detail at a time.

When it comes to art, appreciation doesn’t mean you have to love each piece you see. You just have to consider it. Appreciating life should be like this as well. You don’t have to judge everything you observe or feel; just consider it for what it is and how it might fit in the scheme of things. See how you are not bound to it, and yet how you might affect each other conversely nonetheless.

With Dream Life Designing, for instance, we are tapping into the psychological realm of dealing with the thoughts and emotions behind things. We are putting form to our thoughts and emotions so we can better observe them. “Everything has some kind of form and some kind of landscape, a sense of placement, foundation and order,” Stephen says. “And there’s always a mandala of enlightenment in every landscape.”

“Emotions,” he adds, “are embedded in the environment, not just our brains. The heart and brain are transmitting and receiving what’s around them, but they are not generators; they are co-conspirators with the environment, such as elemental energies like water, wind and fire. We do not control the process, but nor should we become passive receivers only. We are in relationship when we’re interacting with what’s around us.” We might want to occasionally ask ourselves if those relationships are harmonious.

To know who you are, what you’re thinking and feeling – while profound insights can be gleaned from psychological exercises – full awareness cannot merely be found in the head. We have to go out into the world to discover who we are in relation to other forms of existence. Because we do not thrive being contained creatures, nor are we totally separate from what’s “out there”. There is a balance to achieving harmony in our days, and this is the fine “Art” of Living.

Creative Community, Helping Hands, Blissful Beings

We just had our second successful ‘La Dolce Vita’ event at Middle Way Health’s Midtown Sacramento location and we’d like to thank those who joined us for an evening of ‘The Sweet Life’!

For people and connections to feel real, we have to actually get together with them - to feel and share energy, chemistry and emotion. It’s the physical presence and awareness (embodiment) that makes a connection, thought or idea real. The intent of our ‘La Dolce Vita’ gatherings is to bring creative people together to sample and discuss what makes up The Sweet Life, to come up with ideas and create a community of like-minded people who want to be happy and make the world a better place.

We all want to live some version of The Sweet Life, and we need others with whom to share the rewards of our efforts. Coming together around a vision causes it to grow and spread, and community is then built up around it. But we’re not just talking about superfluous things; happy people make the best helpers. It may sound corny, but it’s true.

We all want to be happy, healthy and helpful, right? Often, however, we don’t know exactly how we can help others. Our ‘La Dolce Vita’ gatherings have brought together a variety of people and professions - many of whom don’t normally come together in the same place. For instance, we’re connecting artists, writers and musicians who haven’t previously networked with mental health professionals, politicians and community activists, who in return don’t generally mingle with healers, food industry or fashion professionals.

Bringing different aspects of our community together in this way we are building bridges, sharing passions, generating ideas and solving problems. And our events serve as a method to spread various sources of information. For instance, Melanie Noel Light prepared a visual presentation of Dream Life Designing at our last gathering, something we’d like to continue, with a different presenter from the community each time. This is how we grow ourselves and our businesses, and this is how we make a more significant difference.

We all experience stressors in life - often all too often - and we at Middle Way Health believe in alleviating them by dealing with our responsibilities and creating room for the good stuff; the stuff that makes life worth living. This requires a balance between rewarding ourselves (while not leaning toward hedonism) and practicing blissful wisdom (accepting and sharing what we’ve learned).

At Middle Way Health we offer a variety of services to bring about joyful balance in one’s life. But it’s not solely about doing things one-on-on; we also aim to spread the vision of ‘La Dolce Vita’ (a healthy, joyful, balanced life) through workshops, classes and community events.

We believe we can all be healthy and happy at the same time. While maintaining health takes work, it shouldn’t detract from the happiness we want to experience. A happy, healthy person living a balanced life is to us a success - and can make a difference, even if just by example. A group or community of happy, healthy people living in balance and working together, however, can really turn the tides for the better!

Jhado Rinpoche Visits Sacramento for the 2nd Time~

12/18/09
Jhado Rinpoche Lunch Meeting
Place:
58 Degrees Banquet Room, Midtown Sacramento
Attendees:
Geshe Tubten Tashi, Jhado Tulku Rinpoche, Lama Yeshe Jinpa, Michael Halfhill, Ray Kerridge, Melanie Noel Light, Gonpo, Baasandorj Altangerel, Norovbadam, Jambaa

The wine cellar of 58 Degrees is a long brick room with a black sleek table in the middle and modern-style candelabra chandelier overhead. A variety of paintings hang on the walls, including an abstract city scene, a bold Impressionist vineyard landscape, an ethereal undersea-scape and a humorous Olde English golf course scene. The lighting is just low enough to be romantic but high enough to be practical. The room is cold.

Immediately upon sitting I begin to experience an otherworldly feeling, as if I’m floating and could fall into a deep trance any minute. The combination of company seems odd to me, and there's a strange rift between the ambiance of the place and the particular feelings I’m experiencing.

Guests include a Buddhist teacher/Psychotherapist, a founder of the Dalai Lama Foundation, a writer/photographer, the City Manager, a disciple of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and several of his students. English is not the majority’s primary language at the table, but it is what is spoken most. There is an interpreter aiding conversation between the English and Tibetan-speaking people.

Conversations include the difference between Tibetan Buddhism and Chinese Buddhism, Unsung Heroes, Dharamsala, Shugdens and the Dalai Lama’s view of them, intelligent vs. dull disciples, Buddhism and quantum physics, Dick Grace’s involvement with the Dalai Lama, and a question that remained unanswered: “What is reality?”

06/27/12
Jhado Rinpoche Lunch Meeting
Place:
Rio City Café, Old Sacramento
Attendees:
Geshe Tubten Tashi, Jhado Tulku Rinpoche, Gonpo, Lama Yeshe Jinpa, Baasandorj Altangerel, Norovbadam, Jambaa, Simone Biasiol, Janine Mapurunga, Marie Gillies, Melanie Noel Light

The weather is nearly perfect – sunny and bright, a little warmer than body temperature, and with a breeze that makes its presence known without causing any trouble. I park at the far end of Old Sacramento, near the new Riverfront Promenade, and begin strolling toward my destination. The Promenade is inviting, running someplace in the distance from the south, and connecting with the Old Sacramento merchant dock. There are plaques along the way telling of Sacramento’s early history – transportation, bridges, the railroad, and such. The Tower Bridge, which connects Sacramento to West Sacramento, glistens in the sun like gold (as it should but doesn’t always do), and there’s a long sailboat tied to the dock beneath it. People are walking and jogging the Promenade, and a young businessman is perched on a bench talking on his cell phone.

I take some photos along the way and ingest the unhurried scene as I come across my lunch destination, Rio City Café, which overlooks the Sacramento River. Our waiter Peter seats me at a long table at the far end of the large patio space and I await the group’s arrival. I turn to see the red and gold robes some distance behind me taking photographs on a veranda off the same wooden-plank promenade. They soon disappear, a few minutes later appearing before me.

I’ve met them all before – three years ago and some change – but one never quite knows how to greet holy people, and I fumble in my own ways as usual. Still, they are cordial, casual and good at coaxing smiles. There is a language barrier and no interpreter this time, which could account for the more informal conversations. A large pelican is spotted on a pylon in the river, and then a couple on a jet ski that appears to be having engine trouble. We all peruse our menus and find very few vegetarian options, but luckily the monks love Italian food.

Jhado Tulku Rinpoche travels the world giving dharma talks and dispensing peace-inducing wisdom, called “loving kindness”. His smile emanates warmth and accessibility like a grandfather who effortlessly teaches you what no one else can. He says that it’s very nice in Sacramento, and talking about his travels mentions that Cape Town is a lot like Santa Barbara. We snap pictures with my tiny pocket camera - Geshe Tashi and I taking turns, while Janine and one of Rinpoche’s students take turns with her mega-sized one as well. Jhado Rinpoche flashes a smile and raises his hand, giving the peace sign to the 5-inch lens.

As former abbot of the Dalai Lama’s private Namgyal Monastery in Dharamsala, India, Rinpoche is a highly esteemed Lama in the Geluk tradition. He is known for his gentle demeanor, dynamic teaching style, and ability to engage western students. His weeklong visit to Sacramento last week included public talks and dharma teachings, all free and open to the public. The underlying theme of his visit was to impress upon people the need for sacred space in Sacramento, which is one of Lion’s Roar Dharma Center’s loftiest and meatiest missions.

What exactly is the vision? We'll discuss the lay of that (holy?) land next time...