Writing a Book, pt. III – Re-creating Our Stories & Creatively Journeying Through Life

The ‘Something So Obvious’ Healing Journey Workshop

Something So Obvious is about how people heal, how they become enlightened, and what they do with that awareness. It’s a lifelong process that we can learn to accept and improve upon as we go. We’re all on a journey of self-discovery as we discover the world around us, and that includes experiencing setbacks and uncovering vulnerabilities. So we must as well heal as we go or else our growth will be limited and true satisfaction fleeting. Seeing our lives as a journey of healing, growth and joy – while overcoming occasional blockages and traumas – is different from pursuing happiness and stopping reluctantly to deal with one crisis after another. Incorporating the challenges into the journey, they become inspirations and catalysts for self and life improvement.

In putting this book together – characters, experiences and growth opportunities - we’re also creating a program for journey work at Middle Way Health. The Something So Obvious storyline mirrors anyone’s story. It represents our struggles and growth. It even exemplifies how we at Middle Way Health lead people through their own healing and growth. Because the only way to talk about and envision the whole journey is via a relatable story or biography which people can identify with. Then we go from healing (feeling safe, comfortable and empathized with) to learning healthier living (a new way of being). We’re not just solving problems but moving beyond them by visualizing and practicing new ways of experiencing life. As well, we re-write our own stories as we choose.

Why is the story so important - becoming aware of our personal stories, or what Stephen sometimes calls our ‘inner screenplay’? It’s important because we will usually stick to our previously-written script whether it’s working for us or not, whether we’re aware of doing this or not. Becoming conscious about the story we’re telling ourselves - the novel where in, the big screen we see ourselves on - allows us to question who really wrote the story, what it’s based on, if it fits us, and whether we believe we can change it.

The kind of “story” we’re talking about involves the assumptions, beliefs and unconscious patterns we developed long ago, the basic building blocks that frame our current actions, reactions and emotions. We get tricked into thinking that if we just keep doing the same thing over and over again, a new outcome will eventually occur. As well, we’ve become so accustomed to our dysfunctional patterns that we choose the broken record over the effort it will take to make a new one.

And yet, sometimes it’s not enough to just write down our story and then reframe it in a positive light. We have to dig deeper and then evaluate who, what and where we actually want to be. Stories stick with us because we haven’t checked them for accuracy or validity. It’s hard to make change at that level because we’re not trained on how to go about doing it. That’s why we need others to help us, a healing team to access the story from different angles. We need help getting out of the crash-and-burn-and-heal habit, and into an engaging, authentic pattern of deep healing and self-actualization.

But uncovering the old story and writing a new story is still not enough. If we lived only in the ethereal dreamland of our new story – not actually acting it out in real life – we’d just be swapping a fairytale for a fantasy. Trying out our new story, and editing and improving it as we go, takes us from just surviving to actually thriving. This is what we call ‘La Dolce Vita’, or the sweet life.

Writing a Book, pt. II – The Philosophical Side of a Creative Project’s Journey

Recently on the Heart & Soul blog we talked about embarking on a long-term project and how it stacks up in the scheme of our lives. While there’s a thrill from the potential of the project and a motivation to keep going, there is at times also a wistful aura around it when interruptions force a temporary separation.

But interruptions aren’t actually separate from our creative life’s journey; they are part of the journey. Like being on a road trip and having to pull over to change a tire… It is simply a detour to a new and unexpected experience. And it should be savored (or at least accepted) rather than viewed as something that’s not supposed to be happening.

So then what exactly does a creative project mean as it relates to our lives? Because there’s always some connection and some grander meaning to our creative endeavors. Using our imaginations to think differently, we are connecting with a deeper part of ourselves and bringing it out into the world. Therefore, any creative or novel activity not only brings about a new facet of reality, it also reflects our private inner journeys.

A book, for example, is always somewhat autobiographical, being part of the writer’s own story. And as the story and characters evolve, so do those of us involved. A certain partnership develops not only between those working together on the same project, but between project and creator. And as these relationships strengthen, so does the potential for our lives. For example, the vision for our fiction novel Something So Obvious has expanded along with that of our practice at Middle Way Health. The project itself has become part of our inner vision, part of our personal growth, and part of our professional growth.

Collaborating with others on a long-term project requires a mutual respect and admiration. This then evokes an equality that allows us to inspire one other, be open to new ideas, brainstorm out of blocks, and keep each other on track. We stay grounded by creating a healthy sense of place, which we accomplish by meeting at the office once a week, catching up on personal stuff, and then delving into the deliciousness of letting our minds wander freely.

But it is nonetheless a process, and process implies movement. It’s almost as if we’re all on a pilgrimage together, like we’re traveling in a moving train across landscapes that continually change and yet sometimes repeat without ever being exactly the same. Our lives go on just as the train traverses boundless territory. Meanwhile, we are part of the landscape - not mere observers - affecting it as well as we go. The conversations change as we get older and grow, incorporating our newness into the story and the story’s excitement into our own lives. The settings and characters constantly evolve, just like real life.

And yet, there’s also an odd ‘Alice in Wonderland’-like quality to the journey that can cause us to wonder at times whether we’re really going anywhere or if it’s the landscape that’s actually the thing moving around us. So we pause and ingest the big picture - newness and all – and realize that our project remains a tangible thing, building a framework to which we can take hold and a structure for the relationship that enables a genuine richness to flourish.

Any relationship is unique in itself, but it takes on another dimension when we have a common goal and work through it together. Like traveling companions, our conversations and habits change when embarking on this kind of a journey. There is a familiarity that allows us to share what feels necessary or right, and a focus that then pushes us to get down to the work at hand; Work that takes effort and persistence in bridging inner and outer worlds, but includes plenty of play in the rich realms of imagination.

Creating something, imagining something to life, and working with others on its manifestation can be a dizzying process. It may be moving fast when we want to slow down or it can seem at a standstill when we’d really like to be cruising at a comfortable pace. But here’s where the lesson of the journey is: We’re not in total control of the wheel, the winds, visibility, or other variable factors. They too are our silent partners, whether supporting us, guiding us, inspiring us, or providing necessary detours along the way.

Writing a Book, pt. I – The Practical Side of a Project’s Journey

“How’s the book coming along?,” they ask – spouses, coworkers, friends, loved ones and acquaintances. Sometimes there’s a sense of pure anticipation to the question, as if they can’t wait to see what we’ve been creating all this time. Other times there’s a hint of curiosity about whether it’s really happening or ever going to be finished. And we understand the uncertainty. It’s easy to make plans for our lives, it’s easy to talk about things; but it’s harder to actually do them, to follow through, to finish. And even if we begin an inspired project… well, we all know how that can go.

“Experiencing stops and starts to a project is a lot like life’s journey,” Stephen says. It’s not all one flawless effortless process even though we struggle to make it so. “A book at the end appears seamless,” he adds, contemplating our literary journey. “But of course it isn’t.”

So what’s it like writing a book? And where are we in the process of this particular one?

Writing a book while managing a career or full-time job is a lot like raising a family… While managing a career or full-time job. You’ve got a babe on one hip and another at the table needing breakfast; a phone in one ear, a spouse in the other; one eye on the clock and one eye on what’s cooking in the kettle. The book is a passion of yours – or you wouldn’t be writing it – but it doesn’t always get top-priority status compared to what it takes to keep your life running smoothly and your work keeping you afloat. But it becomes part of that family nonetheless.

With my first book, Portals to the Soul, the Psyche & a More Enchanted Life, I was fortunate enough to be able to devote the entirety of my days to researching, writing, editing and publishing the book. And I worked hard at it. I knew I had a certain window in which to create and get this thing out into the world, and I took full advantage of it. What made it easier is that I had a very clear and strong vision for the project and so I was highly motivated and more disciplined than I’d ever been in my life. But no two creative projects unfold in precisely the same manner, and I’ve personally started (and not finished) maybe 10 books since then ~ Focus faltered, life intervened, and I let it. While I’d rather these projects have been completed, I also trust the ebb and flow of things. Sometimes what gets in the way of a specific success is simply another type of success.

When Stephen and I began visualizing and writing Something So Obvious, it was a nonfiction book and it had a different title. As we got farther into it, we realized we really had two different, albeit related books. So we then began writing two different but related books - one a nonfiction manual for future workshops, and the other a fiction novel to complement the manual, as well as simply stand alone for general reading audiences.

We’d usually meet once a week for just an hour at a time. It was Stephen’s reprieve from a busy psychotherapy practice and it was a great creative outlet for me. Although the process was rather slow in comparison, it was always rich with imagination, surprise and reward. Thus, the more invested in the book we each became.

But life has a way of getting in the way of your plans at times, and oftentimes, the book has taken a backseat to other projects requiring immediate and prolonged attention. These include visualizing Middle Way Health’s expansion and creating a new website, starting a newsletter and eventually an online magazine, designing brochures and writing a blog, inviting the Dalai Lama to Sacramento and dealing with the politics, moving offices and re-decorating, moving again and creating another website… And on the list goes of things we do in order to grow, evolve and invite greater success into our lives.

Looking back at what we’ve done so far, Something So Obvious encompasses years of hard work and persistence – although this hasn’t been painful because we’ve always enjoyed and believed in what we were doing. But the book also began to take on more life than we’d expected, not only reflecting our personal lives, but affecting our professional ones. Having to dig deep and imagine beyond boundaries opened our minds further to what we wanted from our lives and careers and thus helped shape the evolution of Middle Way Health. Creating a work of fiction – where anything is possible – also began shaping the infrastructure of the practice, which in turn now feeds back into all of our creative projects.

So meanwhile, when we get pulled away from writing the book because we’re working on other components of our success or dealing with our personal lives, she waits patiently for us to return. And yet she lingers always in our minds still with a certain unknowing and an element of ‘What will be’ intrigue. No one knows exactly when or how or what she will become, the process of creation being what it is: a mysterious journey of vision, action, patience and persistence. So instead of fighting the process, we tag along with a sense of humor, a satchel of flexibility, and a sense of gratitude for having so much we’d still like to accomplish.

http://middlewayhealth.com/books-workshops/

In the meantime, pick up a copy of our easy-to-read, practical life guide book, Falling in Love with the World Again, in our office or on Amazon.